Devastation and Reform

Today folks, I am inspired by Relient K, (not the first, def wont be the last) and Devastation and Reform.









Do you ever have a week that you just cannot wait for it to be over? Like it seems like nothing will go right no matter how hard you try? I feel like this week has definitely  been one of those for me. Struggles with home life, with friends, with class, with myself, with God.... sometimes it never seems to end...


"And here I sit, Thinking of God knows what. Afraid to admit I might self-destruct"


I have the terrible habit of dwelling on these problems I know... and while there is no excuse for it I sometimes seem to be unable to break the habit. Today I was listening to this song... and it hit me. I was born for devastation and reform. 




So many times in life I feel like I need to be in control. Like it is up to me to make everything PERFECT. If something is not right in my life.. or a friends life... it is my fault. Whatever is wrong... I need to get in there and fix it and make it better! 


However... it seems that a lot of the time when I do this I end up making the situation way worse than it was to begin with. i think about my problems and talk about them sooo much that they become meaningless to those closest to me. I have screwed up friendship after friendship by trying to force my opinion on what I think they should be doing to make their life better.


"Destroying everything I loved And the worst part is I pull my heart out, reconstruct,  And in the end it's nothing but The shell of what I had when I first started"



So many different situations stick out to me right now... and I feel awful about them. I hate that I have screwed up so many different situations in my life... by just trying to be so controlling!


It is now that I have to let go... and let God in control. 


It sounds so simple! But it is sooo hard.... I know he has a plan.. and in the end no matter what struggles I am going through he will be there and I will be a better person at the end.


"But there'd be no story Without all this descension So I inflict the conflict With the utmost of intention"

So, while all of these situations that haven't turned out the best may hurt at the time.. I know at the end there is a lesson from God in them all. Trust your friends, trust your family and most importantly... trust in God. 

I keep holding on to the hope and trust in God that it will, in fact, work our amazing in the end.

"In the end failure is a blessing in disguise."

So to many of you that I may have offended by impressing my will upon you, I want to apologize. I am doing my best to be a better servant of God and his will. Please keep me in check!

And for you all.. remember God has a plan and each and every situation happens to teach you a lesson and make you a better person. So listen to his voice... instead of your own... or even mine. :)

Have a wonderful week!

-Jade