Give Until There's Nothing Left

Memorial day... its been a rough one for me...  a whole lotta sittin and not a lot of doin... so I will do something and write a new blog! :)

Give Until There's Nothing Left by Relient K



I have always believed that a life of service and giving to others is one well lived. Think about it... what better gift can you give to a person or God than yourself? Nothing else can compare. I have tried my best to live my life this way... giving to those who need.. or even don't need... as a way to show I care.

Lately I feel like I have been doing all of this giving for nothing. I love people. I love my friends, I love life, I love God. I feel like I have been doing so much giving... and it just seems like there is no point anymore. Im there for any friend whenever they need it.. yet I can hardly find any one to be there for me. I am trying to so hard to be a different person... one that doesn't complain or push my thoughts and opinions on others.. so much that now i feel lost. i feel like theres no one to trust.... no one i can call on... its all very... lonely.

Now, don't get me wrong... I know God is there... and I know I have those that care about me... but sometimes it would be nice to see some sort of action on all the words and promises. Im not trying to call out any of my friends... im not upset or angry at anyone. im just a little lost and miss having that one good friend that i can trust and go to for anything.

Sorry for the frustrated rant... but no worries... i will keep giving... because that is what important... the others and God in my life. not me. I will continue to be there for you all whenever you need me.. day or night.. rain or shine... because that is when i feel the best.. helping others. :)

I will give until there's nothing left....
-Jade

Innocent

Once again I need to apologize for not updating you all.. but my life has been crazy the last few weeks! This week my blog will be accompanied by Taylor Swift's "Innocent"




First things first. For those who don't know, I am no longer attending Hallmark. Things just weren't going the way I was expecting and I really felt like I needed to be back in Kansas.

That being said, I really feel like I need to apologize to everyone. I really feel like I am letting everyone down by coming back before I was done. All of the support I got... how many times I was told how proud people were of me.... all feels wasted now. I am sorry to let everyone down.

I feel like I should really explain myself, but even I don't know. I do feel like being back in Manhattan is the right place. I love photography and still plan to make a career of it... but being in Massachusetts never felt right and I feel like I have a lot of things that I was trying to deal with by going away from them instead of just facing them like a strong person should.

These past few days, starting with my drive across the US and now moving into my summer apartment, have really shown me that I have really made a mess of things. But thats just how life goes. God will never give me anything I cant handle.  Its just time for me to grow up and face everything and get my life in control.

I know I can do this. I am so hopeful and excited for the future. I cant wait to "make it" and have people tell me that they are proud of me and really feel like I did something worth being proud of. So heres to hoping I make it and to you for sticking around and being there for me.

"Today is never too late to be brand new."

-Jade