Who I am Hates Who I've Been

What?? Two posts in one month!!! Who'da thunk it?? Haha well the World is not coming to an end.. I am just feeling more... "bloggy" lately. Ya I don't think that is a word.... but I am going to make it one. :)

This week theme is from my favorite band ever.. Relient K and their acoustic version of "Who I am Hates Who I've Been"

This blog is a little more emotional for me... It is a special post for those who know or knew me best in the past few years.

How often in life do we lose ourselves? We have so much laid out before us that we are told to go after... a good job, a good relationship, a healthy lifestyle.  Not that any of those are bad things... but we must ask ourselves... Just Who are we living for?

Your parents? Significant other? Best friend? Role model? You?

Are you living your life for you? For God and the plans he has for you?

I know that for the past few years I have not lived my life for me... but for others. Don't get me wrong, a life lived to serve others is one well lived. But that is a totally different subject. I am saying, when you think about your day and the things you want to do are you doing it for God and the plans he has for your life? or for what someone else wants you to do and accomplish?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

God has plans for us. They are far greater than we can ever imagine. Take a moment now to reflect on your life. Who are you living it for? What are you doing with your life? Make sure it is where God wants you to be...

I, however.. have not been living my life for God...

First and foremost I need to apologize. Life has taken its hold on me and I have lost myself along the way. I used to be very positive, loved life and was happy. Lately it seems those great qualities of mine have gone away.  I have cut people out of my life, been judgmental, focused on things that wont get me any where and even hateful to those that I love.

"I'm sorry for the person I became.

I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.

I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again

'cause who I am hates who I've been."

I honestly have lost my focus in life... It was obvious with my friendships... my classwork... my relationships with family. Its not something I am proud of. 

I needed a serious break.     

"And the things bottled inside have finally begun

To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up."

Don't get me wrong.. I love my friends. Each and everyone of you means the World to me and it would kill me if I lost any of you in my life. I however have not been a good friend to any of you.  I apologize sincerely for that. 

"I was positive that unless I got myself together,

I would watch me fall apart."

I have made a huge change in my life... both literally and figuratively. More obviously, I have moved across the country for 10 months to master a passion of mine. (Which by the way... first few days have been awesome and I have never been more excited about school! :) ) 

I have also started to realize how amazing God truly is and how in order to succeed in the next ten months I will need to cling to him more than ever. 

Lastly, I have started looking at the friendships I have and the role I have played and what I need to do to make them better. It is going to be a huge change for me. If you have any suggestions for me... please let me know. I love you all and want you to all to be in my life for a very long time. 

I hope everyone has an amazing semester. 

Until next time.... God Bless!

-Jade

Dynamite

Hello Readers! I know I know.. its been a while... Life just kind of takes over like that!

This week's blog will be a little different.. We will be listening to the tune "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz
Not really inspirational... just makes me want to dance. And that's how I feel right now! :)

Theme for this post.... NEW!

First and most obvious... New Year!

With me... New Life, New Situation, New Problems and.... drum roll please......

New Hair! :)

Yes me... Jade "jade's Bangs" Comstock have cut off all my long hair that I have spent the past few years growing out! Whew. Still crazy to me!

Went from This....

To This!!!

Sorry... don't judge the crappy cell phone photo!



Intense I know!

But in other news... and far bigger challenges... I have made the decision to take a break from my dear Kansas State University and attend..... The Hallmark Institute of Photography!






I am so excited/nervous/stressed/pumped/anxious/scared/every emotion under the sun about this decision.

This change requires me to move 1503.75 miles to the small town of Turners Falls Massachusetts. Here I will be living with a new roommate, in a new place that I have never experienced before. I will spend 10 months learning just about everything I can about Photography. A little scary.. I know!

All of this requires me to pack up my whole apartment, put most of it into storage and the rest in the back of a car to trek across the country.

So of course... I am procrastinating that lovely challenge but blessing you all with my thoughts. :)

However... no matter how intense it seems.. I am up for the challenge. God has blessed me beyond measure with the chance to attend this school and go out side my comfort zone to try something I have never done before.  So I am going to challenge myself not only to become a better photographer, but a better person, friend and most importantly... follower of God.

So now... I will stereotypically make a list of resolutions for the new year!

1. Find something to praise God for each and every day.  Even when it seems like everything bad that can happen may have happened... I will find something good that God has blessed me with.

2. Become a professional photographer. I am on the right track here I think... just gotta go to class and log the hours! :)

3.  Build stronger relationships with my friends. This one I think will be a huge challenge as I will be thousands of miles away from them all... but where there is a will there is a way.

4. Be a happier person. I have let life kind of take the reins from me it seems in the past year or so. Taking away my joy I once had... So I will work this next year to bring that back and be the happy person I used to be.

5. Update this blog (at least) once a month. my last post was in July. Wow. not okay. But this will be a great way to let people know how school is going and let my thoughts out so maybe it will work better!

6. Attend church at least 3 Sunday's a month. I have been a real slacker here. In order to grow closer to God I need to be back in church learning more about him.

7. Lose 20 pounds. Hey might as well throw this stereotype in as well!

8. Continue to be a giving and caring person. I love giving to people... and making them happy... might as well keep it going.

9. Explore and cross many things off my bucket list as I spend time in the New England area. (so excited!)

10. Finish packing..... yea.... here goes!

So here I go... I will miss Kansas and my beloved K-State (especially the basketball team... agh good luck boys!) and my friends and family! But I will be back and feel free to visit!

Have a great year everyone! It's gonna be... you guessed it... Dynamite!!